the great reason why.

Ideas flow through my mind, and sometimes, I want to achieve everything that I am thinking of at that moment. However, hardly ever has the thought, “Why am I doing this,” come into my head. Without knowing the purpose of an action, it is nearly impossible for me to actually achieve anything or do greatly because I don’t have a goal, or a reason of why I am doing what I am doing. 

My desires and wants are countless. My mind is an unplugged sink and my dreams are water, swirling down the drain, never being able to be reached again. Without goals on how to reach these dreams and acquire what I am longing for, nothing will be accomplished. All that I have done in that time will at best be good, but it would be hopeless for it to be great. A few months back, my parents and I had a conversation and asked what my dreams were or what I wanted to achieve. My response was a simple, “All I need are some straight A’s, and hello to Stanford or Berkeley.” There was no reason behind what was stated, because all that was wanted was to become accepted by a world class university. My mother replied, “Universities do not matter, what you really need is to find something meaningful to you, and know why you want to do it. Your passion will bring you to where you belong.” This leads me to the next step to becoming great at doing something, and that is to find my passion and do what I truly love.

My goal for right now is to follow my heart and do even what others may consider crazy. As long as I love it, I'll do it, and won’t let anyone stop me. That’s what finding my passion is all about. But yes, when trying to find a passion or talent, “it’s challenging, it’s hard. Most people go through life never discovering what their talents are. Most people never develop their talents.” (Mindshift- Motivational Video) Too many factors are holding us back from what we believe in as great. It’s like I’ve been given a bag of 10,000 grains of sand, with 9,999 grains of white sand and one grain of yellow sand, and I need to pick out that oddly colored piece. The grains of white sand are the many things that limit us from finding that piece of yellow sand, which we can see as our passions. 

Once my passion has been found, going from good to great will actually be possible for me. The reason for doing what is right or setting a goal will be clear in my mind, because my passion will show me what I truly want to achieve and answer my question of why I want to accomplish what I want to accomplish in life.

-felita
The prompt: What can you do better, and how can you go from good to great?

(Here's the video I cited. It doesn't relate too much with what I was writing, but it has really deep meaning to it, and created a lasting impression in my mind.)

thoughts and goals about speech and debate.

So lately I've been thinking about why I joined speech and debate. The officer elections have passed now, and hearing the candidates' speeches really made me think- What have I done this year? What have I learned? How have I improved? What is my goal in this club?

Despite all my accomplishments with breaking at almost every tournament (except for three) this year, I am still a bit disappointed with myself. I feel like I could have done even more. I could have used my time more wisely and tried more events other than just interp. I'm not at all impressed with my choice to quit debate after just one meeting, then decide to join it again at the end of the year, then to realize how fun it is, and finally regret dropping out in the beginning. I have learned that self doubt is not something that you should think of often. It holds you back from a lot of things you could have done. For me, it held me back from debate.

I have spent so much of my time, sacrificed so many of my other activities just to do this one. Why has this been such an important club to me? Through all that has passed, whether what I felt was hatred, love, or admiral for others, this club has shown me so much of the world and opened my eyes to allow me to see new things. It has shown me that tournaments are not just meant for us to win, but meant for us to learn. Competitors are not people who you should stay away from or hate. Instead, they are people who we can study and gain knowledge from. Their actions can show us how or how not to act, and can also determine whether they become champion, or have a ranking way down low. We can improve ourselves a lot just by watching what they do in their rounds. We take the good and add it into our own performances (after some slight modifications), and use the bad as a reference on what not to do later on. This doesn't only apply to speech and debate, but so many more activities that we do in our daily lives.

So after thinking about this for quite a while, what I really want to accomplish in this club is simple. I just want to improve myself, change myself, and challenge myself, to become a better person and do the most that I can to make an impact on my life. Something that will leave me as a better person, also a person who can be counted on. And I strongly believe in myself that I can and have the potential to do that.

 As a freshman in high school, I still have so many years to become a better speaker and take my skills to the next level. Through numerous practices, failures, and times of despair, as long as I do the most that I can, no matter what the results end up to be, I will have succeeded and reached my goal. I am doing speech and debate because I love it, and not just to win. To go far in life, you do what you love, and love what you do.

~felita

well, let's just say i'm another homosapien like everyone else.

Announcer: Hello everybody!!! Welcome to tonight's show of 'Felita's very Interesting Introduction to Herself". I'll give her two minutes to speak. NOW HHEEERRREE SHE IS..."

Okay. So. Where do I start? This is my first post. I am lost.
The truth is that I really don't know how to introduce myself and make great first impressions like many others do. Well I guess to start off, let's just say that I'm a homosapien like everyone else.

In normal introductions, many people start out with their names and BASIC information. So, I guess I'll do that.

"Hi, my name is Felita. *knows this is boring but cannot think of anything* I am a person. I am currently a high school student. I like food, so I eat food." *many people start falling asleep and snoring*

Person A: Boo... That was not very cool.
Person B: I expected better than that.
Person A: Yeah. I know right. It was a bit TOO basic.

Okay, okay. I guess that wasn't as good as I expected. I won't give up. *thinks of 'I Won't Give Up' by Jason Mraz and starts humming tune in head* I'll do another introduction to myself. I won't make anyone fall asleep. Promise. 

Hola, me llamo Felita Zhang. 我是一位高中生。Give me a random topic and I'll start a conversation with you. YES, I am muy muy social. *apologizes for bad Spanish grammar and word usage* 我经常说出来的话根本都不会经过大脑。I am pretty fluent in Chinese, I guess, because I moved there for two and a half years. It was a muy intersante experience. People have told me that the more you use a language, the better you can get at it. I tried for Spanish... I'll improve for sure. *Says to Spanish teacher: So Sorry! I won't let you down again......*
Now, on to other things about me. I'll tell you some of my interests, just because many people are just interested in other peoples' interests. Wow that's quite an interesting interest. *Now no one is falling asleep because they're sprinting down the hill full of words, trying to catch up with all the usages of the word 'interest'* A bit redundant wasn't it. It won't be later. It'll be very INTERESTING.

Person A: Hey Person B! Oh god, that irony just then... She said she wouldn't be using the word 'interesting' again, but ends up using it anyway. She should stop. 
Person B: Wait! But I wanna know more. I hardly know anything else except for her awkward 'interests'. 

*BEEEEEEEEEEEP*

Announcer: Well, I guess time is up and that concludes Felita's Introduction to Herself. That was a very intriguing talk. If you want to know more about her, look at her future blogs where she will reveal some very "clever" thoughts to the world.

Hey hey hey. My thoughts are not 'clever', they're INTERESTING. 

(Felita's dialogue in Black)
(Person A/B's dialogue in Blue)
(Announcer's dialogue in Green)